Do What You Have to Do
by FeigningInterest
Summary: I have the sense to recognize that I don’t know how to let you go...


_**What ravages of spirit**__**  
**__**Conjured this temptuous rage**__**  
**__**Created you a monster**__**  
**__**Broken by the rule of love**_

I clinch my fist to my side, letting my nails dig into the palm of my hand. I feel hot tears bubble up around my eyes and steam over my cheeks, almost warm enough to emit the same steam my breath does on air. I feel a rippling fury beating at my heart, ripping me at the seams.

There's something about my indifference to this that makes it seem so unreal to me. As if I'm in the sky watching myself say goodbye to the one person I swore my soul to. The one person I've waited so long to finally be next to.

I feel like blaming him for this. For leaving me the way he did. I feel like lashing out to him. Just like I used to do when we were young. I feel like unleashing the monster I know I can be- the monster years of loving this unbelievably sweet and disagreeable man have made me.

_**And fate has led you through it**__**  
**__**You do what you have to do**__**  
**__**And fate has led you through it**__**  
**__**You do what you have to do...**_

I stand here, face forward and lips tight. Surrounded by the family I've dedicated my life to protect. The family that I fought beside of so many years ago, and the younger ones we've all tried hard to keep safe. I feel a little hand grab mine, and it takes every effort in my being not to fall to my knees.

I look down at the little figure, my eyes blurred. I see him, though. Not clear, but he's there. Sadly smiling at me.

"Mummy, are we going to visit daddy in heaven soon? I miss him…"

"No, Hugh." I say, trying to leave the bitterness out of my tone. "We'll have to wait a long time before seeing daddy again."

"Mum…"

I turn to the other side of me. I'm taken aback by how old my daughter looks. She's my height, almost, and her face is as pale and blotched as I figure mine must be. "Yes, Rosie?"

"I can't do this," she whispers. "I can't picture life without him."

_**And I have the sense to recognize**_

_**That**__**I don't know how to let you go**_

"I know, dear. Neither do I."

We stand in silence again, the wind adding to the buzzing in my ears. I listen to the speeches from his friends - Harry first, then Neville then Luna and her husband. His parents next, and then his brothers - oldest to youngest and finally Ginny.

My daughter says her part, keeping a composure she's seen me keep so well.

Then my son speaks up, saying that no matter where his father is he'll spend years searching corners for him- waiting for him to come home with candy and presents. I see a spark of determination in him. Despite how dreary a circumstance this is - he has hope. Something so undeniably Ron in him.

_**Every moment marked**__**  
**__**With apparitions of your soul**__**  
**__**I'm ever swiftly moving**__**  
**__**Trying to escape this desire**_

It brings a smile to me, for the first time in so long. I no longer have the heart I used to know so well. The heart I grew so keen to. I now have a heart very similar, but stronger in his will - for he's not just a part of the man I now have to let go of, but a part of myself as well. I have a son that both looks and acts like his father.

I have two hearts part of him now. A daughter - strong minded and strong willed, who has her father's very soul beating in her chest. A fiery soft spoken girl. Then the little one - vivacious and bouncy. Quite able to act before thinking, but rationalizing every single step after taking it.

The two of them are a part of us, but a bigger part themselves.

And every second I see their bright blue eyes I'll think of my love.

_**The yearning to be near you**_

_**I do what I have to do**_

_**The yearning to be near you**_

_**I do what I have to do**_

I grab my daughter's hand, still holding on to my son, and swing them.

There's a fire I remember him igniting in me - a fire I'm positive I'll die with. In this very moment the flame is dulling down to nothing but a spark. And I fear that if his light were to leave me, then mine may leave as well.

I strike a match in my mind and rekindle the flame. He wanted a family more than anything. He wanted to be a father more than anyone ever thought from him.

The very moment I told him of Rose, he cried. He hit his knees and hugged my middle faster than I could even finish getting the words out from my lips.

_**A glowing ember**_

_**Burning hot**_

_**Burning slow**_

"Hermione."

I jump at the call of my name, and turn my head towards Harry. "Yes?"

"Would you like to say something?"

I look down at my feet, and then over at each of my children. I look up at the sky and feel a fast pulling at my body.

I sigh deeply and unsteadily say,

"_**Deep within I'm shaken by the violence**__**of existing for only you.**_

_**I know I can't be with you, **__**I do what I have to do…"**_

The pulling stopped and all is black, I feel something shaking me.

"Hermione! You alright? You're crying again."

I open my eyes and smile. "Oh, Ron! I had the dream again!" I fling my arms full around him… well, as full around him as I possibly can.

He laughs and pulls me back, the dimples in his grin giving me the most irresistible urge to touch his face. "You're really keen on me getting whacked off, aren't ya?"

I slap him in the arm, and place a hand on my ever so pregnant stomach. He follows my lead and does the same. "Be careful with that imagination of yours, love. Our second born might come out even crazier than the first one."

"Ronald!" I laugh, slapping his arm, "this little guy's going to be just as wonderful as our little girl."

"It's a boy now?"

"Mmhmm. He was in my dream, and I know exactly what we're going to name him."

"Oh, really. What are we naming him them?"

I beam at him, "Hugo."

"Eww. Why?" He coughs a laugh, and then kisses me before I get a chance to scold him.

* * *

**AN: **I blame my mom's depressing ass soaps for inspiring this sad little fic. Okay, so I'm a Hermione/Ron happy ending sucker… sue me! Review please**!**


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